Tell

What lies do we tell ourselves?

To preserve the order of our days

To pretend we can will away truth

To silence the voices we do not want to hear

To protect us from pain we suspect we cannot bear

What lies do we tell ourselves?

And in the telling pretend

That we care

But too much

That we are not the problem

And certainly not the solution

That it doesn’t matter

That we are just one person

Who has troubles enough

What lies finally reach the end of ourselves?

Restart the beating of a stone cold heart

Wake our minds from the numbing fog of weariness

Tear the rusty plates of excuses from our soul

And knock the breath of realization back into our lungs

Because lies serve us

until they don’t

They have a shelf life

And you can tell when a person

Is carrying a lie that is well past

Its expiration date

A lie is unappetizing at best

And slow poison at Worst

They are sneaky though,

Lies

Packaged well and clearance priced

We buy them

Thinking they’ll solve our ills

Or at least make us feel better

Than we are

What lies do we tell ourselves?

There are lies of omission

Protective lies

Lies born of greed, and ease and power

Lies of persuasion

Lies of hidden agendas and identities

Dangerous lies

The denial of truth

Well meaning lies

Lies give

And take away

Appear in a breath

Take on lives of their own

Convincing

To the desperate

And take more from those

missing pieces of their heart

I don’t always know a lie

Or catch why I told myself a particular one

it could stay awhile

I have had nagging suspicions

Yet questioned myself instead of a lie

Because of the lies I had been fed

And had consumed along with others

Or had mistakenly been prescribed

like a sour-sweet cough medicine

Or taught to sing like

An anthem or a hymn

Unthinking unknowing

But how does truth and real

Ever be believed

If we are

so many of us

Born of consumers

Consuming

And being consumed

By the lies we have lived

Worshipped

Become

If there ever was a time

For a hopeful ending to a story

For fairytales to be true

For platitudes to be more than they are

This feels a lot like the time

when we need a

Because

However

But, those are for a different hour

Because unlike lies

Truth does not mess around

It does not make things all better

It doesn’t hide ugly from you

Or placate

Or minimize

Or insult

Truth respects

Asks you to

do more

Be more

Look

Ask

Remember

Listen

Face

Tell

Accept

That you are just as capable of deceit

As any other one

And just as born of truth

As every other soul

That breathes

Inhales and exhales

The lies we tell ourselves

Hollie 10/17/17